Questions to Ask Yourself and Your Therapist to Find a good Fit

By Jen Welo

Finding someone you are comfortable with and who gets you is essential to the healing process. Research consistently shows that the therapeutic relationship is the most significant predictor of successful treatment outcomes (Firestone, 2016). The relationship between the client(s) and their therapist, also known as the “therapeutic alliance,” is cultivated through trust, empathy, respect, flexibility, and collaboration during sessions (DeAngelis, 2019). Because the relationship with your therapist is so important in determining outcomes, it is essential to take the time to find a therapist who is a good fit for you. 

You can ask many questions to determine if your therapist is a good fit for you. No question is a wrong one! Do not hesitate to shop around and interview multiple therapists to compare compatibility. At Hope Rising Family Services, we have a number of providers who offer free 15-minute consultations and are currently accepting new clients. Check out our team here!

1. Client-therapist Relationship

While searching or meeting with your potential therapist, determine if the “vibe” is right or if you have an intuitive sense that this person would be a good fit.

  1. Do you feel comfortable talking to this person?

  2. Does it feel like this person is listening and understanding you? Does it feel like this person gets you?

  3. Do you leave the conversation feeling interested or even excited about starting sessions with this therapist?

  4. Does this person share my values and identity? Do they mention any shared cultural considerations in their bio, website, or meeting with them that align with you, such as a focus on LGBTQIA+ issues, experience working with specific cultural or religious groups, or a commitment to social justice?

2. Insurance and Cost

Finding out the cost of therapy with or without insurance can take time, but it will give you a transparent understanding of affordability. Call your insurance provider to determine if psychotherapy is covered. 

Questions to ask your insurance agency:

  • Does my insurance cover psychotherapy sessions?

  • Does my insurance have out-of-network benefits for which I submit a superbill?

  • What is my deductible, and has it been met this year?

  • How many psychotherapy sessions per year does my plan cover?

  • What is the coverage amount per session? Or out-of-pocket cost to me per session?

  • Is approval from my primary care physician required to see a therapist?

If you do not have insurance or determine that your benefits do not cover psychotherapy, consider your budget for sessions. There are several low-cost, sliding-scale, and free psychotherapy options available. Here is a good list from Augsburg College for folks in the Twin Cities Metro Area.

Questions to reflect on about affordability:

  • What is my weekly or monthly budget for therapy?

  • Can I use my HSA to pay for therapy or get reimbursed for sessions?

  • Does the clinic offer a sliding scale or reduced rate for sessions if I determine I cannot afford therapy?

You have a right to transparency from your future therapy provider under the federal No Surprises Act. To understand the total cost of treatment or sessions, ask for a “Good Faith Estimate.”

3. Availability and Accessibility:

While researching potential providers, narrow the search with logistical deal breakers by ensuring the provider is available to meet your needs for scheduling and more.

Questions to ask your Provider:

  • Are you currently taking clients, and if so, what is your availability (day and time of the week)? If you are not taking clients, do you have any providers you recommend that are?

  • If you want a predominantly in-person meeting, is this provider’s office easy for you to get to? Filter your location or zip code on popular database therapist search engines to find a provider in your area. 

  • Do you provide telehealth, in-person, or both?

  • Is your office ADA-compliant?

  • Do you offer a gender-neutral bathroom?

  • What is your cancellation policy?

4. Therapeutic Orientation and Experience

While searching, look for therapists with experience with the issues you hope to focus on in therapy and shared values or cultural considerations that align with you. You can select filters on popular therapist databases like Psychology Today and Therapy Den to find providers that specialize in what you are looking for. It is okay not to search with a specific filter if you are unsure. After making contact, ask for a free consultation where you can ask specific questions. 

During consultation or over email, you can ask the following:

  • What is your experience working with folks with issues like mine?

  • What is your experience and training? Do you have any specialties?

  • What is your therapeutic approach? 

  • How do you determine goals in therapy?

  • How do you assess for change, progress, or growth?

  • Can you tell me about how you maintain confidentiality in therapy? 

  • If you are seeing my child, how will I be informed about what is happening in session?

5. Therapeutic Goals & Closure

Understanding the treatment process for you and your family is crucial. Asking these questions can help you gauge how collaborative your therapist is or how involved you want to be in the treatment planning. Understanding your treatment plan will help make you feel informed and prepared for your therapeutic journey. However, it is totally normal if you would rather know less about the process or are less focused on goals. 

  • How do you determine therapeutic goals?

  • How do you determine the diagnosis? (not all therapists diagnose clients)

  • Do you offer short-term or long-term treatment plans? How do you typically end therapy?

Reach out with any questions, and good luck finding a therapist who is a great fit for you and your healing journey!


References

Firestone, L. (2016). The Importance of the Relationship in Therapy. Psychology Today.https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201612/the-importance-of-the-relationship-in-therapy

DeAngelis, T. (2019). Better Relationships with Patients Lead to Better Outcomes. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/11/ce-corner-relationships

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